Maxwell Gofigure, the brilliant psychofuturist was born into a family of brilliant autistics. It was no surprise then, when only four years (or ten minutes) after Max announced to a stunned world that God was Love and Chicago was missing, that his sister Madeleine Gofigure discovered how to talk with God, or "Mr Universe" -as he referred to himself, according to Madie.

At the age of six months, Madie's parents found her sitting upright in the crib staring directly at a high intensity nanobulb. This behavior of focusing her full attention at direct light sources deeply troubled the senior Gofigures. As Madie got older she took intense interest in fire, old video clips of nuclear explosions, and flash bulbs, which she would explode directly into an eye.

When Madie was seven, Max found his sister gazing wide-eyed at the sun. It was too late. The eye doctor said that both Madie's maculas were black holes and that she would never again be able to read, see faces, or play Monopoly. Madie was greatly thrilled by the bright lights the doctor used to verify her central blindness.

What Mad Helen Gofigure knew, shortly after opening her infant eyes, was that God was light. Actually, all the ancient texts had said so, and preachers had preached it so, and worshippers believed. They didn't know what the hell it meant, God was light, but they swallowed the words whole, and never, ever digested the messages; much to the disgust of Mr. Universe.

Mad Helen's strangely wired brain could capture and decode the messages that God embedded in photons; well, not embedded exactly. It was more like light was God's DNA. Madie could talk with God before she figured out what the hell human beings were saying to her in their wordy outbursts. She was much relieved when she could no longer see facial expressions- a very primitive form of communication, anyway.

At the age of fifteen, Madeleine Helen Gofigure took her brothers puny discovery of subtle energy and God's consciousness and showed with perfect reason that God used light to seed the universe with his own DNA.

No one understood what Madame Gofigure was babbling about, but here is our best interpretation:

Evidently, human beings need reflected light to see. The standing logic, handed down from Aristotle, is that light is invisible except if bounced off something; only then can an eye perceive. There is absolutely no information, according to modern textbooks, in a beam of light going directly into the eye. No use staring at flashlights, because all you got was a headache.

But Madeleine evidently could see individual photons flow into her eyes in slow motion; she could even vary the speed that the light entered her brain. Each photon, she explained, was a packet of code and each set of photons a further cipher; sort of a secret code inside a secret code. Another way to think about this, said Madie, is to understand that the genetic code which programs living creatures was embedded in direct light, a blueprint for development and behavior washing over galaxies, giving forth God's directions; actually, giving forth God.

Helen's black holes gradually grew in size until the eye sockets were completely absorbed. She could look right at you with these pitch black eye sockets, as if she could see, but there was no facial expression; it was as if she was looking right through you.

It was said that Helen founded an organization that was strictly for females; it was called the Sacred Mechanics and it established a school for saints who wished to communicate with God. The Sacred Mechanics were the ones who declared that God had sent the people of earth seven commandments, the first "Shut the Fuck Up" was Helen's favorite.

"How, she asked her audiences, can you receive God's messages while talking? It's not possible. You can only understand God when you stare silently at the light."

For some reason, Helen hated cars. She was a feminist and environmentalist. So, the first act of the Scared Mechanics (ironically) was to make it impossible for automobiles to ever operate again. Other things still worked in the technical realm, talking toasters and AM Camels, but no Buick Regal ever started again. They still won't start; don't ask, because I don't know.

I forgot to spit out the red pill last night, Tim. I got the shakes about three in the morning and then I dreamed that God was an ant. He had on one of those red beetle helmets and he was huge and black. There was a long line of humans trying to get into Mount Heaven (an ethereal ant hill), but the ant saints were turning them away; only those born in the image of God could go to the great ant heap in the sky. Humans were too insignificant and stupid to get into Mount Heaven.

It does make sense. Ants were the chosen creatures, the peace keepers of the planet, the end result of eons of evolution, the top of the food chain. Human beings were asocial, violent, anti-creative insects that had their turn as the chosen ones. They blew it badly, and so God turned into an ant. That's what the ants said. God created them in his own image and loved them and gave them eternal ant existence. The rest of the universal creatures, well, to hell with those sub ant types. God didn't give a rat's ass about human insects.

So maybe I don't have to live forever. Maybe I'll go where squashed ants used to go when God was a human male.

I'm looking at the puzzle pieces on the table. Somehow this confusion must add up to a whole picture. Here's what we know:

God likes to play Monopoly.
Light creates space, time, and solid objects like Pepsi cans.
The world is full of things that alter our consciousness: red pills; soma water; Mann Glasses; cigarettes; coffee; sex hormones; silence; death ...
God left seven commandments; a Holy List of Rules to guide our lives.
The first thing God wants is for us to be quiet.
Ants are God's chosen creatures; they were created in His image.
God killed my brother.
Sadaya of Sumeria claims to be my Holy Attorney.
His sister Sybil is the most beautiful creature ever created by God.
The smartest humans to ever exist were Maxwell, Madeline, and Sydney Gofigure.
God was shot in the head when the S-Bomb went off.
God is now confused and acting erratically.
Time does not know if it is now or later or some combination.
Space is the universal joint, it is everywhere all the time, like Heaven.
Eternity can kill you if you stare at it, but you can never make eternity die.
God wears a red helmet (maybe for seizures).

I go over and over the puzzle, shifting the pieces, talking to myself, all the while the videoscreen is flashing the message "Shut the Fuck Up!"

I think I'll grab on to a nurse's ass like vice grips on a silk pillow, and never let go.

Opps! Time for my enema. I need to talk to a nurse. Listen assholes! I need a fucking nurse in here right now!

Oh, and I forgot to mention, just to make matters totally worse, I passed the Sacred Parking Lot this morning and Dallas is gone. Something must be horribly wrong; AM Camels are programmed to stand by their families to the death.